ONLY ONE// yellowcard
Im blogging again for no reason. im gonna do my homework pretty soon. well its my 200th blog entry so far. So gonna post something different. Sounds dumb huhhs. This song is super nice "ONLY ONE" by yellowcard.I love this song since like long time ago but i just feel like posting the lyrics this time round. Oh well here it goes ;;8:30 AM
Broken this fragile thing now
And I cant, I cant pick up the pieces
And Ive thrown my words all around
But I cant, I cant give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I cant, I cant hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I cant, I cant get up when youre gone
And somethings breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I wont walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, theres just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, theres just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
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yummy yummy nutella
I change my blogskin. like finally right, wanted to make a blogskin again but i lost of idea and mood. So took one out from blogskins.com. I love love love my blog. This sound so uhh. but oh wells, nevermind. Anyhows, im like suppose to create another blog for 4comp reading review thing but guess what im lazy to do them now. I have tons of work which i have not completed yet. My butt is stuck on the chair already. WAHHAS. im think im getting more and more lazy every single day. 6:37 AM
So last night was online till er, 10? i forgot. oh man now im suffering from STM. wonderful. crap! yeah i think around there lahs. So did some reading and i started sneezing like non-stop. AND ITS NOT THAT MY ROOM IS DUSTY! it must be something else like i dont know. for all i care it isnt my room. maybe that library book was dusty. yea! perhaps. so my mom came in and started nagging cause i didnt take my medicine. so as you can see im forced to take them. After that i zzz. Around 6plus in the morning i woke up and discovered that my dear air-con was off. i was like ARGH. i suspect its my mother. so i on it again and continued to sleep.
Woke up around 11 and stuffs. ate laksa for Brunch. im so full. i dont wish to eat dinner. anyhow i must tell you this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE nutella. ((: yummy yummy! oh ya, i will be a good girl and do my homework around 5? yeah i will.
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Sunday, February 26, 2006
Looking from the roof terrace, i see everything i wish to see with you
So me and my mum went to ikea. And then wonderfully i bumped into cassandra and her mum. was pretty shocking. then we chatted and i decided to go out with cassandra with our mum permission. HAHAS. crap man. we somehow walked around ikea. actually wanted to get the black rubbish bin but nahhs next time. So we ate at the shopping centre opposite and stuffs.11:47 AM
So we took 165 at the opposite bus stop and was suppose to alight at Queenstown mrt station but then decided to go to marina centre.We dont even know where it is lahs. so we just carry on the journey. Well we learn loadds of things like bus 123 pass by tiong bahru, the parliament and others. Cassandra so wanted to see Singapore river so the bus somehow passed by and she was like cool.Then alighted at millenia walk and went to Esplanade. went up to the roof terrace. super nice. was like just the right place to be when you are sad and happy. its such a beautiful place to be. there were like loadds of couples there. HAHA. and me and cassandra was like err. we aint les. then we look around. saw the river. oh my its just so nice. had a few seconds of thinking there. i love the place loadds. ((:
Then we wanted to cross the road and we saw S Rajaratnam name and stuffs on the top of the wall. there was mediacorp bus vehicle also. Cassandra wanted to take a picture of it but didnt manage. Went to walk around marina and trained home. reach yishun aroound 630pm and cabbed home. Yeahh! no one is at home. i have peace ((: Well, im in love with the things around me which i love only. does it make sense?
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Saturday, February 25, 2006
blouse in, socks high up. HEY I LOOK SHORTER
Have been really moody and depressed the whole week. well im sort of okay already. lets hope nothing bad happens again cause its pretty sick. just because of my mood ive made things even harder in life. so lets just forget about those right now. i really dont want to go back to that kinda situation anymore. it makes me so pissed also. urgh. no more those kinda things please. wahhas.12:27 PM
Today everything was perfectly fine. The weather was great, there wasnt millipede on the ground and stuffs. UNTIL... lessons started. first stop was mathematics. so teacher was like tuck in all your blouse and pull up your socks. so i tucked in and yeah pulled up a little higher for my socks. that was pretty okay just that i look even SHORTER. than went down for malay lessons and somehow had some small argument with the teacher. it was like duh about our school uniform. i was like saying "imagine we step out of school looking like that". like whatever.
Recess. didnt eat rice. just drink and munch fish cake. after recess was physics. oh great. never remind me of this ever again. so teacher was like tuck your uniform all the way in and pull all your socks high. very well i tucked in my blouse AGAIN. and my socks i make is higher and can see logo already. teacher not satisfied. like its that the best you can pull. wah i was so sick i can puke at that point of time. i was like so weak and all this uniform thing comes up. so i was like standing for awhile. until my socks was like super de duper high then i was allowed to sit. can you imagine a short girl looking even shorter like that. oh my thats so blehs.
Social studies was the same. just that i wasnt being told again cause my socks was like high and my blouse was like super in. Nerd is all i can say. but my classmates was like making a joke out of it. ian tucked all the way in including his school tie. funny man. its like super weird can. then he say the school next top model. like american next top model kinda thing. keep on laughing lahhs.
went down for assembly looking like a toot. no comments. during assembly principal told us stuffs and then had some talk and dismiss. helped teacher with class blog and went amk to eat. then went to junction eight to waste time. reach home 635pm like that. was pretty okay ((: dont remind me of the uniform again.
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Friday, February 24, 2006
understand me please
IM JUST USELESS. IM GOOD FOR NOTHING. YOU GUYS JUST DONT UNDERSTAND ME. I HATE IT ALL.12:15 PM
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Thursday, February 23, 2006
the tears of life,these tears of pain
Today is like so called boring. Eileen was absent so dad sent me to school and so as per usual i blast the radio. My dad was like can lower down the volume and i say NO. hahas. reach school pretty early, even suzanne hasnt reach yet. Took class key. So had assembly and then had some chit chat with miss lim. She is nice lah. i got to know her better and stuffs. She is super understanding lahhs. CHEERS. Then principal talked to us and had a deal. Me and aud tan was like Treaty of PHS. (Treaty of versailles) LOL.12:31 PM
Had chapel. boring so slacked around with yanti and huda. And history was next. got caught for socks by the teacher. ARGHH. nevermind. i shall not complain more. wahhas. then had no P.E lessons. how boring again. after recess was malay. did some compre which was super boring. Then the lessons continued. i cant remember them all. everything was super boring. Had 2 free periods.
After school met eileen at woodlands library then ate at Long John and trained down to ang mo kio library to study. So studied at the cafe. bought munch munch. YUMMY YUMMY ((: left around 545. and took bus home. everything seems boring. Cant wait for tomorrow, cause going AMK library cafe to eat pasta. CRAVING MAN.
im living in a secret thats covered in a lie
every night i find a new reason to cry
why is love so hard to find and see
i just want someone who'll love me
ive been hiding all my true feelings from you
fighting to get through
someone tell me do you see my pain
is my hate the same
can i close my eyes and it all fade away
my pain theres no words to say
making myself smile hurts worse then crying
everything i say i know all I'm doing is lying
love has broken my heart in two
all because i fell in love with you
is there away out from all of this pain thats tearing me apart
i no longer have a heart
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Wednesday, February 22, 2006
just asking. is it too much. anyways i hate two things.
Somehow today was better. I meant my mood was better than the past few days. Though i will still get it back whenever i think of it, which makes me like sick. oh why cant i just forget about it. just treat it as some crap or something. arghh. if only i can plain forget about it. nevermind about that. oh wells. so today morning met eileen as per usual and crap loadds in the bus. And someone farted in the bus. Its like wahh lauu. STINKS LIKE HELL. it smells like rotten egg cann. URGHH. early morning lehhs. think this person is so the disgusting.i know its part of life but please dont fart in the bus. Me and eileen was like GOSHH!! stinks stinks. 12:33 PM
Reach school as per normal and collected class key. As usual morning assembly and FNN lessons up till recess. Alrights, had recess and ate some typical malay food. like what else can i eat. Late for english lessons but teacher never scold. in fact th whole class was like waiting for me to say "CLASS STAND" and greet teacher. did some compo discussion. not so bad. maths was okay. Physics was so tiring. I nearly sleep but nichola entertained me by playing with stickers. How lame?
After school went KFC with eileen and liying and their class friends. Then went to study at amk library. i finished my homework. yeahhs. around 515 left and took bus to yishun. bought bubble tea and carrot cake(oh shit its still in my bag!). Up to popular, bought foolscap and then went into minitoons get more stickers ((: reach home 645 plus. im freaking free. oh shucks im broke. oh noo! its like only 21st of february. i have to suffer for so long! argh. now i wish i save money last year.
Just to know me would be good enough for now.
Am i asking too much.
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Tuesday, February 21, 2006
tuck all in and raise your hand. that isnt enough.
Great. i bet you no one will say that today was the best day of all the days in their life. Well its true. today pretty much a drag and sick lahhs. Tell you why as i blog okays. So today morning wasnt in a good mood already. I myself dont know why, i feel so bad now cause eileen was pretty high but my mood was super low. sorry. somehow my mood was like that since friday night. dont want to talk about it, makes me so sick. haii. forget it. anyhow so took class key and went to parade ground but was later told to go to hall. so took the damn heavy newspaper up to the hall. we had somehow like human jam(traffic jam). that makes me even more RAHHS. im getting angry over this stuffs lah. cant help it. so waited at one corner and slowly followed the crowd in. to be truth i didnt know where i was going cause all i saw was like tall tall people. Fine the fact is that im short. so squeeze my way through like a mouse.11:08 AM
Finally found my way into the hall and sitting place. somehow i miss the gallery cause it isnt packed like sardines. so lined up and had typically morning assembly. After awhile had reading period. Today newspaper wasnt that bad i think. Then the whole school boys had to stay behind for some talks. Think it was somehow the same talked the girls heard last week. The girls went back to class and ms jeya did something super de duper funny. she was like told us to tuck in our blouse all in. like TOTALLY in. then raise up both of your hand and then thats the proper way of using the uniform. we were laughing like hell can. thank god there was only girls around. Not long after the boys came back and it was their turn to do so. haha. after so, we did some english stuffs.And i started feeling unwell. i was like feeling so weak. my body ache and my nose doesnt feel okay. asked for panadol around but cant find any.I even complained of having symptoms of bird flu. Had malay lessons after that. did some newspaper article thing. crap is all i can say.
Recess came next. i was like sick but just control and went down to eat. ordered food but had not much appetite. After that got back our mathematics results. dont ask me how much i get but i flunk the paper. but not so terribly. but the fact is that i still failed it. Biology came next arghh. i fail again. goodness i really have to study for my midyear so terribly hard. i somehow slacked this common test lah. Social studies came next and i was caught talking two times. i was like arghh. sick man. After that was history. I PASS! i was shocked. 17/25. advertise to the world man! ((:
After school, went out with phoebe, cassandra and celeste. Ate at long john and crap loadds. After that walked around till 445 and trained down to bishan with cassandra. not long after took cab home cause i feel so sick again. The journey home was so tiring lah. though i sit there waiting to reach home, my body ache got worse and i started coughing and sneezing. Must be due to all the fast food i ate recently.oh mann im weak.So reached home before six and again my mum was shocked. so ate early dinner and now doing some work. tomorrow getting FNN results. oh man im sure to fail this time round.
Just thinking and suffering from stupid weird things i was thinking.
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Sunday, February 19, 2006
goodbye fnn research for now
Call me crazy cause its my third entry.3:18 PM
FOR YOUR INFO! IM DONE WITH MY FNN 5 PAGE RESEARCH WHICH NEARLY KILL ME. THANK GOD MY LIFE WAS SPARED. WAHHAS. IM SUPER HIGH NOW. YEAH. BUT GUESS WHAT I HAVE HISTORY NOTES. THANKS ALOT MAN!
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just as i jump down, i hear you calling. DAMN I SHOULDNT HAVE JUMP(a total mistake)
Well, today went out with yijun and huishan. so here it goes, went to meet them at yck mrt. i was late. so sorry! Anyhows, trained down to bishan. Find thumb drive there but didnt suit their budget and also its kinda big. so went off to Funan. Got their thumb drive. Like finally. not bad lah the price. around $27 plus. then trained down again to bugis. ate at KFC. and then walked to national library. and wonderfully we cant find any books on vitamins. its so sickening man. WASTE TIME.so walked around bugis for awhile and off to plaza sing. Walk and munch again. around 515 left the place and trained to marina bay and back to yishun. reach home 630 plus. 12:00 PM
Oh well. i getting really urghh over my N-level fnn thing. its freaking sick to me. i have no mood to do. im forcing myself. well, at least doing it makes me stop thinking of stupid damn stuffs which makes me sad or whatever. im getting real weird and i think i need some help. but i dont know what kinda help i need.
Im not stressed us. im just freaking myself up.
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im all stuck. no where to go.
To be honest i dont feel okay. well its not because the big argument i had with my parents. They somehow was okay with me today morning. so that was like luck can. anyhow, im feeling. I also dont know what im feeling actually.Im in low spirit, unable to think with clarity and im lost. Im stuck in a maze. i seriously dont know why. I just feel STUCK! im stuck to the ground where i find it hard to move. My mind is making me worse. Jumping to conclusions which are either real or just out of my mind. None of it makes me feel better.Im no longer positive. Negative me? YES YES. if i could run and hide from this stuffs and appear again once they are gone, You guys might see a better natasha everyday. But no, life is full of weird and unwanted things. Especially my life.3:18 AM
i have the ability to cry from now till ever. Whenever i want.
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Saturday, February 18, 2006
i lost my sense of direction. Thanks alot to you!
STUPID. this is getting so sick. whenever im high and happy, something will spoil my whole mood. like my dad is irritating me. i dont mean to be rude or what but can he stop nagging. he nags worse than my mother. how sick can this get. he is so NOISY! urghh. he is getting into my nerve. i wish i could scotch tape his mouth. im sorry to say all this but i just need to sceam and shout. so i cant shout at home so im gonna shout and scream my lungs out here. My dad is so "talk big" he like action lahh. goodness i call my dad that?. woops. but well what can i say. thats him. he is so NOISY. 2:58 PM
Dad: Natasha, you take history right?
Me: Ya?
Dad: How was the world created?
Me: Ask me for what. i study hitler not how the world is created.
Dad: When was islam formed?
Me: Now what. i aint any religious teacher.
Dad: Dont come and talk to me like that.
Me: I really dont know.
Dad: You are trying to be rude. Your friends teaches you this.
Me: NO! my friends are not what you think they are.
Dad: They are only your friends when you have money. When you dont have, your friends will run away.
Me: Wahh! my friends not money face.
Dad: So trying to say your friends are good.
Me: Yes!
I blast my computer so horribly loud.So i cant hear him well.Then he scold me again!
Dad: i gonna consfiscate your phone.
Me: NO!
Dad: your friends better what. ask them for help lah.
Me: UGHHH. sick.
Dad: Who sick? you sick or me sick.
Me: You lah.
Dad: Thats it. end of this month you gonna get hell form me.
Me: okay fine!
AND my mum came in
Mum: Good take everything away from her.
Dad: Yes she dont need our help. she has her friends.
Me: URGHH! ya kayys.
Dad: still answering?!
Me: OKAY.
Dad: im grounding you.
Mum: Good. all she knows is wake up and eat.
Me: i got do my homework okays.
Mum: Your room is in a mess.
Me: I clear already.
Dad: You clear and you mess it again.
I cant take it and i cried. urghh. and now another thing is getting into my nerve which is making me more worse. im so gonna faint or something soon. this are all sick stuffs which i dont like. they just dont understand me. HAII. im breaking bit my bit. and im torn everywhere.
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Jump off the building and landing on the ground. and everybody seems to care
I just cant get the real meaning of.. (nevermind)12:33 PM
Finally its the weekend. okays its like tomorrow. this means that i can wake up late tomorrow.Anyhows, took class key as per normal and stuffs. Had assembly and reading period. the book i read was so boring cause my beloved story book was being lend to someone. aint i nice ((: WAHHAS. so first lesson was mathematics. what a horrible start of the day. did some skill practice and then started talking to the rest.
Malay, got back my result. I PASS! i need 3 more marks to get A lahh! damn it. oh wells nevermind. after that was recess. had physics next. got the n level slip thing. some kinda confirmation. the paper freaks me out lah. it shows how close our n-level is can. Social studies. haha. got my result. i studied the subject but in the end i fail. i feel stupid now. its so horrible man. dissapointed though. well i cant do anything right? Next stop, english. YEAHS! this makes me feel so great. I PASS! i love english so damn much cann. LOVE LOVE LOVE. rights. craps.
Assembly was next. lock class door and stuffs and went to hall. had some ballet performance. i was laughing all the way lahh. its stupidity. then got pretty bored and started complaining like hell. after the performances and stuffs, had some consortium canning. then delayed dismissal time. i always hate that alot.
After school went to causeway point. ate Long John Silver and went to more than words to get eileen handphone thing. and off to library. HATE HATE HATE. sickos. i better not say anything or i'll get into trouble. so hush NATASHA! oh wells. then we went off around 6pm. eileen went to cell group and i was in a bus which was packed like crazy. i lost my balance i fall. okays. nearly fall. EMBARRASSING. urgh. i was like"i need a plastic surgery right away". alighted and walked home. i got chased by this small boy who was riding those kiddy bicycle. he was like chasing me. so i somehow ran. HOW EMBARRASSING. reach home before 7. im so proud of that.Tomorrow going out with huishan and yijun to do coursework. but going J8 to accompany them.
this week hasnt been great in some ways but there is some other things which is great too.
stop hating life. just try to ignore those saddness and carry on with life.(I HOPE)
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Friday, February 17, 2006
so deprived
12:03 PM
I just cant describe my life in one word
YIPPE. so from now on common test free((: this feels so great but there would be my midyear, prelim and n level soon. goodness that stresses me up but relax let me have a break please. alrights, had social studies for the first two periods. Teacher nagged like siao at us and she caught me talking. i just cant stand people nagging lah. so sorry i had to talk. Teacher say we somehow went out of point for our social studies paper. man, i think i did so badly lah. anyhow, had mathematics. WAHHHH! the moment teacher enter class we started studying on a new topic 'QUARTILES'. like those upper and lower and median and blahhs.kills. i was like screaming cause i didnt know how to do the questions. Well the next period was english. did some filing and was given some commonwealth essay passage to read. then ms jeya asked question. i kinda stoned and daydream. and she caught me. she ask me a question and i got BLANK. damn. she saw me stoning in class.
Didnt eat for recess. so just drink barley and went up to class. Physics, mr choo returned the papers. I FAILED IT. oh manns. then had malay watch some stupid movies and then had history, some new chapter we learn. WAR,WAR AND WAR. sickky. during character first we did some traget setting then around 1.30 went to hall for some social emotion talk thingy. as per usual it was pretty boring. i was like when is it gonna end.
After school went amk central seoul garden with eileen and her classmates. eat not much but i was so full. then daniel knew some spastic cat high guys. they were so damn freaking irritating. as in like urghhh. they are so noisy and disgusting. they boiled ICE CREAM. sickos man. like no wonder that daniel is as spastic as them lahh. so eileen cant tahan and we left. walk around central for awhile and find it boring and went back to yishun. i saw this duck at minitoons. SOO CUTE!
Then went home. and now my dad forcing me to eat. crazy im so full. tell him i full and he make so much noise. sickky man. urghhh. anyhows i gotta go. maybe tomorrow going woodlands. maybe only. yups. thats all. Keep it cool.
i can only describe them in paragraph or sentences.
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Thursday, February 16, 2006
Haute couture
1:06 PM
Was dragging of bed today. im just too tired. i need more rest and for your infomation my dark eye circle sucks alot. im suffering with it every single day of my life. alrights so today morning i forgot to bring my storybook but thank god suzanne had extra or you'll see me standing infront of the school and stuffs. wahhas, so had reading period.
Also had chapel service, so sat at the basement. i was pretty noisy lahh. cause i didnt manage to memorise them. so yanti was like nagging away. so went up class and sat for food and nutrition paper. i slept. which feels kinda good. but the result will be nightmare. so paper finished. CELEBRATE!!! finally no more papers. like finally.
So had english and ms jeya did CT correction but she aint returning our papers yet. i think i did pretty badly. oh god, help me. so after english the class turn into a jungle. like the boys were like boxing and punching with each other. so was pretty noisy. the girls was like busy talking and talking. so everything was like a total jungle. all we needed was some trees. wahhas.
After school went orchard with Nichola,Huishan,Yijun,Qiuhan,Liling and Huda. Huda is with us!! finally. she rally goes anywhere lahhs. so we went to cine to eat long john. ate combo one and nachos with cheese. its nice but little cheese so i went to buy cheese(: then we all were like talking stuffs like.
- what if we eat using our asshole(kinda sick but funny)
- i played soccer and my shoe went in to the goal thingy but not the ball.
- Childhood days like:
;; Playing with barbie dolls and cutting their hair shorter(nichola thinks that it could grow)
;; Coloured the barbie dolls hair (nichola: use colour pencil, me: use paint)
;; using saliva to make nail shiny( everyone somewhat did that lah. how dumb)
;; take post-it and use them as long finger nails
;; playing teacher teacher and mark papers which teacher mark
;; pretend to be chef and waitress (both in one time)
thing like that are dumb. like we were laughing so freaking loud lahh. after that went to buy celeste birthday present. hope she like it. then i bought this handphone accesories. then walked down to heeren. walk here and there and went back to cine to buy this tape(like scothtape) but with the wordings "warning" and "caution". me and nichola bought them. i bought caution and she bought warning. its unique lah (((:
Left town 6.15 took train to yishun and cabbed home cause i was pretty late. and now yeahh. no more papers. well i have a sudden obsession with french. i will study them one day when i free.
Just enjoy bits and pieces of it.
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU. i love blue roses
9:13 PM
A day for the exchange of tokens of affection.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. alrights, before i talk more about valentine day, let me tell you this. im so sure that i will fail my combined science and mathematics. Anyhow today morning woke up pretty early to meet cassandra around 620am at school gate and then go get roses. so bought roses and went back to school. gave roses to eileen,zanne,liying,nichola,audtan,liling and qiuhan. did i missed out anyone. then exchanged gifts with close friends. Had assembly and during recess gave the class chocolates and sweets. goodness
I DIDNT KNOW THE HOT LINKS TASE YUCKYY! IM SO SORRY IF I GAVE YOU THOSE )):
Went down for recess and continued giving presents and gave jellybeans to those who said hi to me. i kinda force them to say hi. LOL. evil grinns. after school wanted to stay back with liling and qiuhan but instead met eileen and liying and went off to woodlands to eat my lunch and studied at library. i did my food and nutrition mindmap. finally left 2 more topics. im happy. later gonna lock myself to study again. LAST PAPER(((: yahoos.
thanking those sweet human beings which gave me vday gifts
Crystal; Letter with mickey and minnie mouse picture you drew.
Eileen; orange letter in a green bag and a green handbag plus sweets.
Suzanne; Bear photoframe with green ribbon.
Cassandra; Hershey chocolates.
Liying; Black earings.
Yijun; chocolate and ferrero rocher.
Nichola; Green flower lollipop and heart shaped chocolate.
Liling; strawberry kinda chocolate.
Yuru; sweet and letter.
Denise; Toblerone.
Qiuhan; Pink colour gummy lollipop.
Huda; Long toblerone.
Huishan; Green flower petal lollipop and a card.
Audrey Tan; Snowglobe and a letter.
Audrey Mahmah; Ferrero Rocher.
Minli; Chocolate.
Sonam; the sweet.
Unknown; some sour plum sweets and orange sweet. who was it i dunno. sorry
Alrights. thats all for now. reach home 715 i think. this thursday going seoul garden with eileen ((:
YIPPERS.
i have always wanted this//
Blue roses (stand for fantasies, hoping for miracles, new opportunities and possibilities)
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complicated is a way to describe messy
Well today school was like normal. Common test here and there. Left with 3 papers. like finally cann. so endure 3 more and im free for the time being. wahhas. alright, so after school went out with cassandra and celeste. went to orchard to buy v-day presents again. but had lunch at swensen then walk down to paragon market place to get chocolates. and then to art friend to get wrapper and stuffs. after that cabbed down to ang mo kio mrt station while celeste and cassandra continued the journey home.12:02 PM
Trained to yishun and cabbed(again) home. reach home 530pm, mum was shock why i came home early. hahas. she expect me to reach home like 7 plus going to 8. hahas, funny! well did some bio revision and stared at my maths and physics books. i hate studying them so decided to wrap presents. hmm. had fun wrapping but my wrapping sucks lahs. sorry to those who recieve v-day present from me.
So tomorrow need to wake up super early lahh. meeting cassandra 620am at school gate and walk to market and meet huishan to get more things. think i better study and continue wrapping faster so i cam sleep earlier. hahas.
just trying to make my complicated life easier by staring at it?
doesnt make sense (:
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Monday, February 13, 2006
Far away.
i love my brother loadds. anyhow, so today morning studied my history.Kind of just read through. around 12 plus my brother came he help me install this internet security thing which cost him US$100. how nice is he((: well danial came along too then had lunch and munch alot of tibits. alrights i had to entertain danial so means i cant study right. nevermind, so played fighting with danial. as per usual i lose. then he accidentally kick my face. ouch! nahhs. kidding. My parents and them went out. i decided to stay and home and study later. oh wells, nothing much happen today. Boring!8:14 AM
Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
Its hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking
for It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
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Saturday, February 11, 2006
i'll be in history one day
OH MAN! I CANT UNDERSTAND HISTORY5:47 PM
Tell me who is hitler? some bad guys i think. all i know about history is perfectly nothing. oh how wonderful is this. ive been trying to get history into my head but i failed. goodness this is so sick. history is such a rahhs. ive been doing mindmaps, writing down notes, recording my voice in my phone all about history and yet its all useless. im freaking out now. cause i cant afford to fail it right.
Okay. relax. i will try studying it once again in five minutes time. this time it better be stuck in my head or ill go to some bookshop and get UHU glue. rahhs. anyhow i got so sick of history and i changed my blogskin ((:
I HATE COMMON TEST LOADDS.
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rushing river. sinking mud
I tried to release my stress by packing my friends valentine day gifts. just looking at those presents makes me think that im not alone. cause there are friends around me that care for me. im really greatful and proud that i have friends like them around me. though i rally catch up with them at certain time, they are still precious to me. they changed my life and always been there for me. like nichola, i didnt tell her i was down or what but somehow she knew it. and cassandra, she is like even though she has her own stuffs to settle she do care for me and ya. eileen, she is like so important to me. she is just so nice and caring((:4:42 PM
Well. natasha you aint alone! well im going through everything slowly and not jump to conclusion and stuffs.
Alrights. so very soon im off to lock myself in my room to study my history, mathematics and science (if possible). oh well. i gotta go. I LOVE MY FRIENDS
Life is like a rushing river.
running water.
but when something goes wrong
it turn into mud which sinks to the bottom.
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tears after tears.
Just read cassandra blog. well didnt wanted to blog a second entry at the first place. but ive gotta tell something. cassandra, dont stress yourself and dont cry. things in life are always difficult, just hang on a little longer. studying is part of life which we cant escape. i want the old crazy cassandra back!!2:18 PM
Okays i cant believe i actually cried reading cassandra blog. im shock even. perhaps it was meaningful to me. well looks like everyone seems depressed and down. erm i was like that ever since two days ago. but i have to carry on with life, i just cant stop there forever.
as tears fell from her crystalline eyes
no one noticed it
all she know was that she was deeply hurt.
and no one sees it.
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im not found in any paradise
Damn it. i woke up so late can. i woke up at 6.55 plus plus, i was like screaming like hell cause my parents didnt wake me up. i was like rushing left and right. then i screamed cause i didnt pack my school bag. how sick can things get and worse still, today was common test. i asked my dad to sent me to school. told him to speed like crazy.12:31 PM
Reached school just nice. thank god i wasnt late. so today had no reading period cause we are having common test. had social studies and english. i dont know how i did. so wait for the results. anyhow what is malay religion? oh man. i seriously dont know. wahh. lose face lah. im like a malay and yet i dont know it. ahhh! its like in english paper compre question can. aights nevermind! anyhow. after recess had malay and history. malay was funny and history was like the joke of the day kinda thing.
alfi: i hate history. geography better. eh you like history anot (he shout very loud)
the whole class laughed then teacher told us we were twice a fool when we laughed. because she thinks alfi was making fun of the history students. but then weiheng said that he was making fun of the history teacher and not us. think teacher was fed-up or something. then the teacher say that she dont like teaching two classes. one is our class. now i wonder the other class is which class. then she say if we want to drop history, drop now. wah that was so stupid!
After school went with nichola to bugis. her money was cheated. then go city hall and meet qiuhan, yijun and huishan. then go prints. i bought papers then walked to buy more v-day presents for friends. go home 630. reach home 730. my mum never scold ((:
THATS ALL. off to date my tv
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Friday, February 10, 2006
living in a world full of rejections. oh god please help me through.
School was like okay i think. reached school pretty early and did my FNN mindmap. as per usual assembly and stuffs. during english we went to computer lab and created blog. helped out a few. anyhows. after school stayed back to study social studies and off to long john. and well im stressed cause of tests and im depressed because of .......... nevermind.1:04 PM
I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe
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Thursday, February 09, 2006
IM BEING SELFISH
A few minutes ago, there was an old man standing outside my house. he was finding his way to get to my doorstep. he hold a pack of battery and a walking stick. 2:33 PM
man: sorry to disturb, can you please help me by donating 2 dollars to buy a battery. im blind and i need help. can you help me? just 2dollars and not more.
me: i dont have money.
man: okay. thank you and may god bless you.
oh mann. i know i have money in my wallet still. why did i lied. i feel so bad. im guilty. its like i have commited a crime. im a criminal. hand cuff me. im evil. why was i so selfish. its only 2dollars.
while he walked away, i know that he was sad. im so young. 2dollars wont bring me anywhere. he may need it more than me. he is so old and he is still finding ways to earn. im so sorry. im totally upset with myself. i dont know how to forgive myself. i made a person real sad. even i cant accept rejection. wonder an old blind man being rejected. and he was rejected by me.
he left the corridor full of sadness and hurt. all thanks to me.i will never forgive myself.what was i thinking.he was so nice to say "may god bless you" what was i really thinking. IM DEPRESSED.
im sorry.
you left my doorstep with sadness and hurt.
im sorry.
for my selfishness.
im sorry.
for not giving you 2bucks.
im sorry for lying.
i feel the pain you go through.
im sorry.
forgive me.
please.
))):
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The only way to repair my heart is to STITCH
My body is damn pain and its aching for no reason. i think because i fell off bed last night.right. anyhow, woke up as per usual and packed my school bag. i totally forgot to pack my school bag the night before. goodness im getting so old and forgetful now. brain damage already mann. well like usual daily routine met eileen. today crap alot somehow. hahas. reached school and crap even more with eileen. until i was beaten by her by something she was carrying. okay not the child abuse kinda beating okays? get it? 12:21 PM
Assembly was pretty fine. im so looking forward to every single reading period from now on because i love my storybook. oh man, there goes the bell. it was chapel, went down to the basement and wrote a formal letter to a teacher telling him/her to change her attitude and teaching method. like come on it was requested to be done. after that was suppose to be history lesson but teacher never come. was like yeah!! talked about valentine day presents to give friends. and also planned where to go after school.
PE. actually i wanted to run, but sadly, i lost interest. so i walked. NOT ALONE! not much people ran today. like cassandra she did come for pe but she walked all the way. i was with nichola, audrey, qiuhan, huishan and yijun. we cheated by crossing over the field for like twice but guess what we still failed. wahhas. what a waste man. if we were to walk a little faster, i bet you we could have pass. mr ang gave two bucks each to those who pass their 2.4 very well. it was like weird cann.ian was like super glad lah. he keep on saying teacher treat him recess. like duh we all know. anyways, on the way to school, cassandra did the worse thing i have ever seen this year. she like wore her skirt over her shoulders. i think she was like walking on a runway at yio chu kang mrt station. can you believe it. the best thing was everyone she passes by will look at her. goodness i think cassandra was trying to atract attention or something. well people who saw it, be glad cause that was a once in a life time kinda thing ((:
Had recess and malay. was like normal. do workbook only. thats all we did. after that was mathematics. did revisions on triangles. not bad at least i understand things much clearer now. biology came next. had some group work. the six of us crapped loadds.wahhas.
After school, went to hod to see whether history teacher was there. but cant find her. so went out with huishan to city hall because i wanted to settle valentine day presents for my friends. walked to suntec at first to have our lunch. ate at kfc, i ordered the wrong meal. i wanted o.r fillet burger but i was blur enough to order shrooms meal. i realise when i was opening the wrapper. goodness im such a blur person today. anyhow ate and chatted for awhile and went to millenia walk. went candy empire. bougght loadds of stuffs there. my money in my wallet was getting lesser. wahhas. spent alot of time there. alrights then accompanied huishan back to suntec to buy her wallet. yups. then went to city link mall and bought a somewhat tanktop. its garbage green ((: then went to hunt for qiuhan valentine day present. im sorry i cant find you any nice butterflies around. then went home. Reach home around 655pm. my mum didnt nag. she was busy watching some tv shows. settled down and did my english homework and now blogging. alrights then peeps. thats all i can remember for today.
Being hurt is part of life,
but i cant take it if i were to be hurt and torn inside all over again.
im sick and tired of stitching up the broken heart.
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Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Peservering and enduring is the best thing to do in life
Woke up pretty early today to go to school. met eileen at 605am. the reason for that is because we wanted to see suzanne. yahhs. long story lahhs. anyhows, the journey to school was like so sleepy cann. and i can barely see anything outside cause it was rather dark. reach school before 630. wahhas. didnt know there is a lot of people who come school early in the morning. so studied my FNN while waiting for suzanne cause there would be a test.yarhhs. then me and eileen saw this secondary one small guy. goodness he is so adorable((: rights. by then suzanne already reached school.12:00 PM
Accompanied her to one corner, she cried until her eyes so swollen. she seems to be pretty sad for the past few days. instead, i rather see her go bonkers lahhs. maybe once in awhile only.anyhow, after that went down to parade square. while everybody somewhat gather around her. i hang around with nurul. took class key and again there was a mistake. suppose to give me 4compassion they gave me 3compassion. HELLO? hahaha.nevermind. so had assembly. and there was like this story telling thing going on. at first this girl talk in chinese. so i was like what the heck? when she translated, i was laughing mann. cause its about mulan. im evil yes i know. then had devotion.
Fnn, went up to computer lab one. can you believe for the past 4 years in phs i dont even know where computer lab one is. infact most of us dont know. so we just "tikam-tikam". Had test on some fish thing. i dont know how i did but there was this question 'list two types of shellfish." i said hard shellfish and soft shellfish. wahh lauu. i really dont know what. wahhas. then had break for awhile. and continued with another test on legumes,cereal and vege. i know i gonna fail that. then had 3 theory topics. was pretty fun and i can understand ((: around 1035am we were given our N-LEVEL FNN COURSEWORK. i dont know which topic to do on. im pretty clue-less here. oh wells. i need opinion. Recess!!
After recess was english. was pretty okay. we did some reading on snakes. yup those long stuffs which pretty gross me. anyhow, had homework on it too. after english was like mathematics. i think. oh mann i think i did pretty badly. PHYSICS me and nichola was talking non stop. somehow. rightts.
School ended. met crystal. and went out for lunch at town. sat at mac and did some my biology homeworks while she studied for her economic test thing. alrights. then around 450 went to artfriend. bought some stuffs. im still in love with that shop!! after that went to wisma and walk around for awhile. went into topshop and fila. clothes not bad but i had to settle valentine day presents for my friends. around 555 left orchard. trained down to yishun. was so tiring wanted to take cab but long que. so gave up and took bus home.
Well, tomorrow having history thing again. anyways. im still being nagged by my parents early in the morning. what a drag to start of the day. wahhas. and urghh common test this friday and ss and english is the first paper. im very worried for my ss.
in life, things do not always turns out the way we wanted them to.
but with a little of peserverence and endurence, you will never know.
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Tuesday, February 07, 2006
im just in a world of my very own.
WOOSHYY! okays just ignore that first word. rights. so today morning got nagged by my dad because of my phone bill. it was irritating though, but i deserve it somehow. i exploded my bill by like more than 100 bucks. anyways no matter how loud i blast the radio, i could still hear his voice super clear cann. alighted at interchange. as per usual met eileen and went of to school. was pretty quiet during the journey. maybe we talk too much yesterday :D10:11 AM
Reach school, erm aint sure the time though. anyhow, talk to nurul,suzanne and others. Then off to take the class key. Signed and went to the foyer to take the newspaper. was pretty heavy but it was fun to carry it. Went up to hall since the parade ground was pretty wet due to the bad weather last night. reach hall, did my last few questions of the harry potter english crappy comprehension. then 'SEKOLAH SEDIA' alrighhts. so assembly started. had devotion by principal too.
im loving monday reading period. like come on. i rather read newspaper than those articles which are so boring. had fun reading the newspaper. Articles was so much interesting. After that, DM told all boys to leave the hall. so class by class boys dismiss. Thought it was some kinda spot check for girls but then it turned out to be a talk by principal. Topics on like virginity and dressing up as a school girl. some part was hilarious though.
After that walked back to class. Had english lesson. wasted one period of english so in the end left with two. Ms Jeya was super funny and sarcastic. like all her sarcasm started popping out, was laughing like hell. NON STOP. she is the best teacher ever!! did some work. and bell rang for malay lessons. purposely talk english in malay class. ((:
RECESS. lined up at the parade square. then off to canteen. goodness it was so packed. people began cutting que. after recess was like mathematics. did some skill practice. oh my goodness im having my maths class test of chapter 2 tomorrow. STRESS. im not planning to fail it but i dont understand it at all. Anyways after that was biology, mrs choy gave us surprise pre test. it was a pre test cause we haven learn anything about that topic. erm. i dont know how to answer them all. Had social studies surprise test. i dont know how well or poor i might do. just wait and see. History was like usual right?
After school got pissed for awhile cause there wasnt any food to eat. HAHAH. around 330 went of to eat. thanks eileen for accompanying me. she bought a GREEN tank top!! CRIES. nevermind. wahhas. went popular to get the green graph paper. then HOME SWEET HOME. now im going to start doing all my homeworks and study for all my tests.
cant wait for tomorrow. going out!
JUST A SIMPLE YET WEIRD DAY, FULL OF CRAPS AND ANGER.
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Monday, February 06, 2006
im a small tiny green freak
Today wasnt that bad. went out with eileen instead((: crystal somehow cant make it. so met eileen after her church and after she went home to take her homework. went to school to find eileen pencil case but cannot find in the end. after that trained down to city hall. actually wanted to go plaza sing. then finally decided marina square. sat at mac and eat. and of course started doing my homework. but after awhile cannot tahan. wanted to walk around.1:29 PM
Walked to esplanade. bought a GREEN colour hair clip. i love it loadds. its shiny and glittery. then walk here and there. and bought cotton candy. its super sweet. then took 56 down to bishan for fun. talk alot of stuffs in the bus :)) reach bishan around 620. took the train back to yishun and went to popular to get my green foolscap and my green file.
Im just so in love with green. oh mann. tomorrow 3hours of history after school. save me someone! Anyhow, have a great week ahead and may you have the mood to study for your common test okays people!!
JUST CALL ME A GREEN FREAK.
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i love going out
Alrights yesterday i didnt blog much. just did the thing that cassandra tagged me. girl thanks alot. it was crap. well changed my blogskin! ITS MADE BY. ME!! claps. rights. its green i love it loadds cann. anyhow things have been okay so far. though there were few kinda stupid and dumb stuffs happen here and there. okays. school have been pretty fun i think. except for certain subjects which make me even going to fail my common test.5:17 AM
Talking about common test. Goodness this friday is our common test. oh myy. anyways, yesterday went to my cousin house. well he went to taiwan yesterday night. cools. alrighty, so now im stuck at home. not really stuck at home lahh. cause later going out with eileen and crystal to study and do my homeworks. so aint that bad after all.
IM OFF TO GET READY. byes ((:
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Sunday, February 05, 2006
THANKS ALOT CASSANDRA!
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF2:24 PM
i can talk on the phone for hours
i can blog
i can write
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF
my height
i cant sleep early
my soon to be panda eyes
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
majority of my homework
my life
why is the earth round?
THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU
idiotic people
my handphone bill
sorry to say, but my parents are pretty annoying
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
creepy crawlers;; eg. spider, ant, bugs and anything which crawls
my phone bill
the end of the world
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
handphone
computer
people
THREE people/or set of PERSONS YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH
nichola (she is my partner in class)
eileen (everymorning go school with her)
myself (((:
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Saturday, February 04, 2006
HISTORY.HISTORY.HISTORY
Been blogging extremely short entries lately cause im in no mood. alrights so 4compassion blog is vulgarities free. like finally ((: anyhow, 4blessing made a class blog too. whatever it is lahh. they linked us so we will linked them back if got mood and time. right. 12:11 PM
The first day of february was pretty much i dunno. stayed back for the investiture. phoebe act as the acting vp. haha. made fun of her. haha. keep on calling her idiot. wahhhas. stayed back in school for awhile and cabbed home cause i was too tired and sick. home rest. did stuffs and went out to get something which in the end nothing. and then went home. home, actually had loadds of homework. but was stuck with the computer. here comes the sick part and stuffs. helped a few people with blogs and i got pissed for i dont know what so ever reason. then made eileen a blogskin. to rachel it was a sucess but to eileen i falied. she somewhat hate it. DAMN IT. and there goes my interest in blogskinning for now. well since she dont like it, she changed it. what can i do. right?
2feb. Happy Birthday Eileen. yarrhhs. so went seoul garden at amk. at first wanted to watch movie. then blahh blahh cancel. had fun though.alrights. ate loadds. 2 rounds. im fat! then after that paid my phone bill. and then, went to sun plaza. crapp alot. around 8 plus left and went home. and rush with homeworks.
Had investiture for class chairman and v-chairman during assembly. Goodness. total embarrassment cann! nichola went chingay so i was the only one from 4compassion.rahh.after school is like nightmare! 3 hours in the library. RAAHHHS.
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Thursday, February 02, 2006
sick mann. argh
Im hating everyday. I cried twice in class cause of history. im a cry baby. i need to stay back 3 days for 3 hours just for one subject. in total nine wonderful hours. wasted. i lost interest in history. im hating some kinda people. well actually i truely hate them. im just pissed. im angry. IM JUST ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!10:11 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EILEEN ((:
alrights. no mood to blog.blog tmr or whenever.
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arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
4COMPASSION CLASS BLOG IS FILTHY!1:39 PM
i cant take it.
the tag board is like ARGHH.
whatever.
im in no mood.
RAHHHS.
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Wednesday, February 01, 2006
I WISH I LOVE TOMORROW
Tomorrow is wednesday = SCHOOL !12:04 PM
oh mann. im not looking forward to it. i just dont like it and the reason is like so obvious right? im off to do my homework in like less than five minutes time. im always the last minute type of girl who does her homework. i really wonder whether im able to finish my homework tonight. oh god please help me. i have my history homework(i really dont want to do it, oh wells i still have to do it right?), Mathematics paper 1 which consist of 10 page. and my malay compre which is super dragging and my food and nutrition homework. DAMN. this what happens when i last minute do things.
im off now. ((:
Lets hope i love tomorrow!!
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IM SUPPER TIRED AND LAZY
WHEEE!! okays im super de duper bored. cassandra went out with her mum and sis, rachel going taka soon. im stuck at home feeling so boring. HELPPS. well plus guess what, my mum told me to fast today. thats so rahh. nevermind about that. okays last night my mum and dad nagged on me using the computer till late. and they made a rule for me ;;5:13 AM
Computer to be off by 9pm everyday// wassup with that lahh. its like only 9!!
No more using of the phone after 10pm// ARGHHHIESS!!
This is not fair cann. i dont like it. RAHHHS. anyhow today actually woke up 930am but decided to sleep back. im just lazy lahhs. so woke up around 1130am cause my handphone was ringing(cassandra called). she was like "oh my gosh, you are still sleeping". HAAHAS. alrights. my bones are aching. i need a massage now!! rightts. oh ya! i did a blogskin yesterday (click here). and after that i made cassandra blogskin. got to her blog yourself.
AIGHTTS. im bored. i still have not done my homework. thats bad. okayys thats all for now ((:
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